MRI

Had an MRI today!  Well it was certainly a new experience, one that I'll not likely ever really enjoy having.  I'm not super claustrophobic, and I'm not afraid of loud noises, but it's certainly not comfortable to lay on your stomach with your whole chest supported only by your sternum for a half hour, while listening to what sounds (to me) like the warning signals if a nuclear invasion is about to happen, or your space shuttle is trying to lock down, and you need to run as fast as you can before they seal off the entry doors.... or something loud like that :)  Lucky me I also got a needle and IV which I hear will be a very common occurrence in the next several months.  Apparently I have great veins... ;)   

I decided I wanted to start photographic this whole weird and unexpected journey so I can remember it someday down the road. 

A lovely room in which to duck into a dressing room and gussy yourself up into sweet sweats and a hospital gown.

DANG I told you I was high fashion.  That gown tho... On point with this sweatpant and cowboy boots thing too.

Feeling strong as hell after the 6th appointment with many to come.

Tomorrow is oncology and surgery appointments to hopefully determine "THE PLAN".  Prayers always appreciated!  

I am only two weeks in and already tired of the process.  I am hopeful that I will be able to slow down work a bit once I am in full treatment, and luckily work for a very supportive firm that will try their darndest to force me to slow down.  It's just weird you know?  I am used to be 100% self sufficient.  If I say I am going to do something, I do it.  If I take on a job, I complete it fully.  I am struggling knowing that I will be leaving some things for other people to have to step in and take over, on top of their already insanely busy schedules... sigh.  That's called support I guess.  Not taking it is usually one of my best traits, so I guess God must have something to teach me!

That post where I start sharing information about breast cancer

Well, found out 7 days ago that the little lump I found in my right breast has turned out be part of larger bunch of overachieving cells called invasive ductile carcinoma, AKA breast cancer.  I am still in a bit of shock because what the heck?  Seriously?  I don't have time for this!!  No really, I don't have time and am still trying to figure out how it will effect all areas of our lives.

I've already learned more about cancer in the last week than I ever knew, even though I've had family members and friends go through it in the past.  I'm debating how much I want to share here on this good old lapsed blog of mine, but it's nice to have a place to send folks to for updates, instead of repeating them over and over, so here it is :)  I am not usually much of an open book - more of an "I will deal with this all myself thank you" sort of person, but I'll do my best to share here.

So here's what I know so far:

• There are 2 (maybe 3) small tumors in my right breast (only two were biopsied), and one axillary lymph node that are currently known as cancerous.  I'll need further scans (MRI and PET or CAT scan) to determine if it's gone any farther.  As long as it has stayed within my breast and lymph nodes it's considered curable, yay!  MRI is scheduled for next Wednesday in Wenatchee.
• I have met with an oncologist, surgeon, and radiologist in Wenatchee and so far am comfortable with the proposed treatment team.  However I don't yet know what treatment will be since I don't have the scans back.  
• Both breast tumors are estrogen and progesterone receptor positive and HER2 negative.  Which (in my understanding) essentially means that my own body's hormones are what is feeding the cancer cells.  Gee thanks, body.  But this is apparently a really good thing, because it's easier to treat since doctors know how to control hormones pretty well these days.
• Cancer cells are grade 3, which is the most active.  Being fed well apparently.
• Both tumors are small, less than 1cm, which is also good!  On a scale of 1-4 they are both T1, the smallest.
• Because a lymph node is affected it will likely mean I need a axillary lymph node dissection where they remove them all under my right arm.  Although I am still learning about this part.

That's the medical jargon part.  I made a big old school binder to store the tons of information in it. Thanks to Olaf's school art for the cover work :) 

I'm definitely open to talking about it, seeing folks, emailing, phone calls, texting etc, but I'm super busy and am not great at getting back to folks in a timely manner.  So please don't feel ignored if I don't get back to you.  Also, I have already found that my anxiety goes up every time that some tells me they have a suggestion for me, based on their experience with a family member with cancer.  I do like hearing people's personal experiences and how they came to their treatment plans etc, but I absolutely will shut down if I feel like I'm being told what I should do, or strongly suggested, even if it's just recommendations on second opinions or where the best doctors are.  And I do know those suggestions come from a place of caring and love.  It's just such a personal and scary thing already to decide on a treatment plan that I and my family are comfortable with, and I just can't also feel like I have to justify to other people why I am making my decisions.  (it's the people pleaser in me)

I am thankful already for the support, flowers, encouraging cards (there's a spot in my binder for those too!), prayers especially, and offers of help.  My community of family and friends are FREAKING AMAZING.  I love my wide circle.  After putting this out on our Church's prayer chain, I noticed that my major anxiety went nearly away, praise be to God!  (I do have a backup prescription for heavy anti-anxiety meds just in case though.)  Once I know better the "plan", Jaimi is going to help me get volunteers in the right places at right times.

Thanks all for your love and caring.

 

2015

Well, after the crappy year that 2014 was... I had high hopes for 2015 to be a lot better.  I mean, it's not hard to top a year where I was pregnant during a long hot summer, our marriage had a few rocky bumps to work through, and my dear dad passed away... but still, I guess after a year like that you just aren't sure.  Luckily it came through!

2015 was another year of change.  It was gol-darned BUSY.  Other parents tell me that this busy-ness only gets worse as kids get older... I guess we'll have to see.

One of the biggest changes was that in June, we moved in with my mama, just across the river in Plain. We had the opportunity to rent our River Rd house to some wonderful relatives that were needing a rental for about a year and a half while they build a house.  The rental market in Plain is hard, so we offered them our home for this time.  And my mom was gracious enough to allow our brood of 5 to move into her home.  So... we are a little tightly packed, and it's definitely chaos at times, but we are enjoying this extra time with Grammy.

Moving off the River Road property has been okay, but a little hard for me.  Right when we moved out, Dave and Christie moved back, and Jenny and Haakon moved into their house, so now they are all out there and we are over here...  It's forced our family to spend more dedicated time with one another, but I miss the camaraderie of being all together out there.  But, I keep telling myself it's only temporary and we'll be back in our home before we know it.

Updates on the kiddos -- Olaf is enjoying second grade.  He's a complete Lego MANIAC, and is quickly becoming an expert in Minecraft on the iPad.  He's happy that ski season has started up and is exploring more of Stevens Pass every time he goes!  Though Forest could have gone to Kindergarten this year, we decided to hold off a year so he wouldn't be the absolute youngest in his class. (well there were many reasons but that was one of them).  It's been a great decision as he's been doing well at his second year of preschool - this year he is actually excited to learn since he's better at sitting still and concentrating.  I think he definitely needed this extra year before kindergarten.  He's also enjoying skiing, and was finally able to lose the "leashes" and go down by himself on daisy.  I'm proud that he got over his fear of momma letting go!  John is 15 months now, and starting to turn on the personality.  He has the most hilarious laugh when he thinks he is doing something funny.  He is a CLIMBER.  Stairs, ladders, tables, countertops, mom...  Such a sweet addition to our family.  Even when he is throwing a tantrum face down on the floor because he didn't get what he wanted... it's hilariously adorable.

We've been enjoying a wonderful year of snow in Plain... as the pictures below will show.

"Helping" daddy install the snow bike kit.

Merry Christmas!  Sledding at the pass thanksgiving weekend.

Isn't my hubby handsome?

Lots of snowplowing hours this year.

Oly and dad!

Oly with the Saugen cousins!

Purty icicles

This is what we get when we tell Forest to smile :)

A collage of goodness

Look mom and dad I can ride the ski lift too!

Steve's favorite - snowbiking with Gabe

My Christmas tree hiking/finding buddy

There's the laugh/smile I was telling you about :)

Snippets of Life

I really am committed to doing better at posting these photos and stories.  I realized this morning as I let the boys peruse my past posts what a treasure this blog is!  They both LOVED seeing their baby photos, toddler photos, and current photos.  Since they don't have baby books, this will be their baby books I guess!

Speaking of baby books, John started WALKING last weekend during the Seahawks game :)  He was probably trying to pull our attention off the screen, and it totally worked!  He's (obviously) quite wobbly, and much better barefoot than with shoes, but his little Frankenstein walk is adorable.  I can't seem to catch it on video... since it's only like 5 steps at a time, but I will eventually!

Forest took this picture for me... I love it even though it's a little fuzzy!

A few weekends ago we were able to borrow a friend's VW van which they have all set up for camping... it was fun.  First thing - we drove it over Rainy Pass for a nice Sunday drive!  Then we camped by the river and explored a bit.  Here's a few photos from that adventure :)

Yesterday after Olaf's soccer game we hit up the Wenatchee River Salmon Festival. The highlight of the festival was "Reptile Man" on the main stage, but we enjoyed a few other "fishy" activities as well :)

Then we joined the Cohen and the Rientjes families for a little dinner in Dryden.  Long day!

All conked out about 5 minutes into our drive home.

Firsts

First Day of 2nd grade, 2015.

Oly and Ingrid

Who put these three sitting next to each other??? 

Here's to having a teacher who embraces the craziness that comes along with 7 year old boys, and give them room to be a little nuts sometimes :)

... and now for something a bit more serious... 

Kimmie!!

First day of Pre-K, 2015

 First time play soccer - "Most Fun Player" award!

First time turning FIVE YEARS OLD!!!  He had a nice party complete with lots of friends and a piñata and a Batman cake :)

First time being 11 months old.
That's all I could think of as a first :)
He's standing, climbing, and tentatively taking steps with our hands.
No walking yet, but I'm sure that will get here soon enough!

Climbed up here by myself, yes I did.  Note the wrestling brothers in the background, and the smoky skies.

Pick me upppp!!!!!

Why yes he did climb on here by himself.

Naked tractor pushing, always fun.

And....  first time in a LONG time, breaking away for a trail run with Jaimi Joelle!!

John B

I mentioned it earlier, but this little buddy is such a joy to our family.  The only time he seems to be upset is when he is hungry or tired, both of which are easily solved.  Or... has a tummy or toothache at night... which aren't easily solved, but moms don't sleep, right?