MRI

Had an MRI today!  Well it was certainly a new experience, one that I'll not likely ever really enjoy having.  I'm not super claustrophobic, and I'm not afraid of loud noises, but it's certainly not comfortable to lay on your stomach with your whole chest supported only by your sternum for a half hour, while listening to what sounds (to me) like the warning signals if a nuclear invasion is about to happen, or your space shuttle is trying to lock down, and you need to run as fast as you can before they seal off the entry doors.... or something loud like that :)  Lucky me I also got a needle and IV which I hear will be a very common occurrence in the next several months.  Apparently I have great veins... ;)   

I decided I wanted to start photographic this whole weird and unexpected journey so I can remember it someday down the road. 

A lovely room in which to duck into a dressing room and gussy yourself up into sweet sweats and a hospital gown.

DANG I told you I was high fashion.  That gown tho... On point with this sweatpant and cowboy boots thing too.

Feeling strong as hell after the 6th appointment with many to come.

Tomorrow is oncology and surgery appointments to hopefully determine "THE PLAN".  Prayers always appreciated!  

I am only two weeks in and already tired of the process.  I am hopeful that I will be able to slow down work a bit once I am in full treatment, and luckily work for a very supportive firm that will try their darndest to force me to slow down.  It's just weird you know?  I am used to be 100% self sufficient.  If I say I am going to do something, I do it.  If I take on a job, I complete it fully.  I am struggling knowing that I will be leaving some things for other people to have to step in and take over, on top of their already insanely busy schedules... sigh.  That's called support I guess.  Not taking it is usually one of my best traits, so I guess God must have something to teach me!

That post where I start sharing information about breast cancer

Well, found out 7 days ago that the little lump I found in my right breast has turned out be part of larger bunch of overachieving cells called invasive ductile carcinoma, AKA breast cancer.  I am still in a bit of shock because what the heck?  Seriously?  I don't have time for this!!  No really, I don't have time and am still trying to figure out how it will effect all areas of our lives.

I've already learned more about cancer in the last week than I ever knew, even though I've had family members and friends go through it in the past.  I'm debating how much I want to share here on this good old lapsed blog of mine, but it's nice to have a place to send folks to for updates, instead of repeating them over and over, so here it is :)  I am not usually much of an open book - more of an "I will deal with this all myself thank you" sort of person, but I'll do my best to share here.

So here's what I know so far:

• There are 2 (maybe 3) small tumors in my right breast (only two were biopsied), and one axillary lymph node that are currently known as cancerous.  I'll need further scans (MRI and PET or CAT scan) to determine if it's gone any farther.  As long as it has stayed within my breast and lymph nodes it's considered curable, yay!  MRI is scheduled for next Wednesday in Wenatchee.
• I have met with an oncologist, surgeon, and radiologist in Wenatchee and so far am comfortable with the proposed treatment team.  However I don't yet know what treatment will be since I don't have the scans back.  
• Both breast tumors are estrogen and progesterone receptor positive and HER2 negative.  Which (in my understanding) essentially means that my own body's hormones are what is feeding the cancer cells.  Gee thanks, body.  But this is apparently a really good thing, because it's easier to treat since doctors know how to control hormones pretty well these days.
• Cancer cells are grade 3, which is the most active.  Being fed well apparently.
• Both tumors are small, less than 1cm, which is also good!  On a scale of 1-4 they are both T1, the smallest.
• Because a lymph node is affected it will likely mean I need a axillary lymph node dissection where they remove them all under my right arm.  Although I am still learning about this part.

That's the medical jargon part.  I made a big old school binder to store the tons of information in it. Thanks to Olaf's school art for the cover work :) 

I'm definitely open to talking about it, seeing folks, emailing, phone calls, texting etc, but I'm super busy and am not great at getting back to folks in a timely manner.  So please don't feel ignored if I don't get back to you.  Also, I have already found that my anxiety goes up every time that some tells me they have a suggestion for me, based on their experience with a family member with cancer.  I do like hearing people's personal experiences and how they came to their treatment plans etc, but I absolutely will shut down if I feel like I'm being told what I should do, or strongly suggested, even if it's just recommendations on second opinions or where the best doctors are.  And I do know those suggestions come from a place of caring and love.  It's just such a personal and scary thing already to decide on a treatment plan that I and my family are comfortable with, and I just can't also feel like I have to justify to other people why I am making my decisions.  (it's the people pleaser in me)

I am thankful already for the support, flowers, encouraging cards (there's a spot in my binder for those too!), prayers especially, and offers of help.  My community of family and friends are FREAKING AMAZING.  I love my wide circle.  After putting this out on our Church's prayer chain, I noticed that my major anxiety went nearly away, praise be to God!  (I do have a backup prescription for heavy anti-anxiety meds just in case though.)  Once I know better the "plan", Jaimi is going to help me get volunteers in the right places at right times.

Thanks all for your love and caring.